She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
