we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
