You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
