Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
