Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
All I want is dick and wine.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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