Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
