so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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