Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
