i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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