Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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