so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This is not my ceiling
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
