I like to think it a success when the cops are called
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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