Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
