just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
