Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
