Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
