Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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