I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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