You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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