We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
