"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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