This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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