Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Couch. On fire.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
