the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
