Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
