sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
