so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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