whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
