Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
