we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
