Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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