STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
