Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
