Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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