anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
