i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
