Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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