she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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