do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
