I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
