My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
