I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
