grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
