were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
