Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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