So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
