ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
