Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
