Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
