Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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