READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
