She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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