I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
