and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
