the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
